I was just reading through the scripture for my lesson in Kinder/1st this morning. First of all, I have to say that I am so blessed to be able to call this my job. I literally get to pour the Word and Love of God into the lives of these sweet children in the most creative way that I can. And it's called "work". Of course there are always challenging days, or times (*squints at SUMMER BREAK*) but it is so rewarding and FUN!
I digress. Today I was talking with a co-worker and I said, "You know, the kids call me a teacher, but I really never thought of myself as one. Sometimes I wonder what God was thinking when He placed me here, because it is so different than the path that I was on that I was SURE was the right one." Newsflash: studying criminal profiling and psychology does NOT translate into teaching kindergarteners on Sunday morning. Those skills and knowledge are now useless. Although still highly entertaining. And expensive (student loans are NEVER a good idea, folks!).
She gave me some reassuring words and we went on happily about our day. How could you not go on happily about your day when the next few things on your to-do list were "1. decide on a game for Sunday, 2. get craft supplies ready for Sunday, and 3. read Bible story for Sunday"? Well, I moved on through my list and landed on #3. The story this week hit me. In the gut. Hard.
Let me expound on that.
Our theme this month is Friendship, and this week we are focusing on how friends forgive one another. Pretty straight-foward. But the story is from John 21:3-14. Peter has been through a lot, this is right after the crucifixion AND his triple denial of his relationship with Christ. He decides to go back to what he knows. Fishing. He's going to go fishing to relax, recenter himself, whatever it is that he needs to do. Now, if I remember correctly, he was a professional fisherman. And they NEVER fish at night. Which leads me to believe that he was just going to go through the motions as a way to soothe himself. When he hasn't caught anything after being on the water all night (no big surprise there) he sees a man on the shore who asks if they have caught anything. Um, no, sir, they have not. The man proceeds to tell them to throw their net on the right side of the boat. K, weird, but OK. They do, and they haul in so many fish that the nets were full to bursting. When Peter figures out who it is, he jumps in the water and swims to shore to see his friend - Jesus.
Here's the sneaky little line in there that just nailed me to the floor. It happens in verse 9. "When they landed they saw a fire of burning coals. There were fish on it. There was also some bread (NIRV)". Did you see it? "There were fish on it". They haven't dragged their catch in yet, guys. But Jesus had a fire with FISH ON IT. Which means, He was ready. He really didn't need their catch in order to have breakfast. He didn't need them to supply anything. They weren't expecting to catch anything, and had accepted the fact that they didn't. But they were obedient to his directions, even when they didn't know that it came from Him. And when they saw the level of the blessing they received they realized it could ONLY have come from Him. Jesus was prepared to have them come, sit, and join Him in a meal whether they had caught fish or not, whether they had listened to Him about the fishing or not. The fact that they DID listen to Him only increased how much blessing He had to give them. They were going to eat fish either way.
Isn't that so true of how He works in our lives? He is ready to bless us all the time. He is ready to sit and fellowship and engage in relationship with us at all times. Sometimes we aren't even looking to accomplish anything, and yet Christ can do amazing things in our lives. All we need is to be obedient and open to his voice. While we may feel that what we bring to the table is lacking, or less-than what He deserves, we need to remember that it isn't about how much we do, how much we bring, etc. It is about the step of obedience and faith to His words. THAT is what He values.
Christ loves us so much. It sounds like a Sunday school line, but let it sink in. He loves us. And He wants to spend time with us, and He wants to bless us. If we love Him, and listen to Him, and obey Him, He promises that He will be with us. We are going to sit down to eat fish with Him - the question is, how much fish will there be? Are we going to allow Him to work through us, even when we don't think that we are in the right place at the right time, or doing the right thing? Are we going to listen to His voice from the shore telling us to cast our nets to the other side of the boat?
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Monday, March 20, 2017
Looking Behind the Curtain
A dear friend of mine shared an article on FaceBook today about living with depression. Usually, I just keep scrolling when I see things like this. It isn't because I don't care. It isn't because I don't believe that things are as bad as they are made out to be. It isn't because I want to stick my head in the sand and just pretend like it isn't a problem.
Quite the opposite.
I know it is a problem. I know that incidence of depression has increased dramatically in Americans in the last 50 years. I know that it is estimated that 5% of the GLOBAL population suffer from depression, earning it a designation of "epidemic" from the World Health Organization. Guys. 5%. The current estimate for our global population is 7.5 Billion. Billion. With a "b". Using my calculator (because... you know, math) I can tell you that by those estimates that means that there are currently 375,000,000 people in the world suffering from depression. That's more than the entire population of the United States. Take a minute to let that sink in.
Now, I don't want to throw out a bunch a facts and figures about the symptoms of depression, its causes, or the treatments. Because honestly, it's too much. And please do not use this as medical or psychiatric advice. If you, or someone you know, is suffering from depression or thoughts of self-harm, seek professional medical help immediately. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24 hours a day at 1-800-273-8255 or click HERE to chat with them online.
Today I DID read the article. And it struck such a serious chord with me, that I felt that I had to get the words out. It reminded me so much of my own journey with depression, and I feel like God has been calling on me lately to open up and share about it. Hopefully it helps, or just speaks to someone else.
Because the first and foremost thing about depression is that you feel that you are alone. 100% alone.
And you're not. There are SO many of us that it boggles the mind that we could ever feel that way, but we do.
When I was 15, I got pregnant. I lost that baby at 10 weeks. My medical records say that it was a miscarriage. It was a death. I still mourn the loss of that child. I still grieve and think about what that precious life would be doing today. And at the time, I was 100% not able to handle this life-changing event. A few weeks after I lost the baby, I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression.
I can't tell you how many times I was asked "What is wrong?" only to answer "I don't know." I wasn't being difficult. I wasn't being obnoxious. I didn't know. If I looked back at my day, there wasn't anything that stood out as being WRONG, and yet, here I was, an emotional wreck.
Or what was even worse. The lack of emotion. Having to watch my friends and family during
conversation so I could imitate their facial expressions and listen to cues, because I certainly wasn't able to process the punch line in the joke they just told.
Depression made making a decision impossible. Even when I knew what I should do. I lost 20 pounds in just a few months due to the fact that I would KNOW I was hungry and should eat, but I was too overwhelmed by the need to decide what to eat that I just wouldn't. I would stand in front of the refrigerator and look at the food, hear my stomach growl, and still not be able to move my hand to pick something up.
Depression was laying in bed for days, with body aches that can't be soothed, a sense of overwhelming loneliness and worthlessness. Why bother getting out of bed? Or take a shower? Why try to take care of myself when no one else cared about me? Why should I try to beat this horrible, unbeatable problem? Why should I reach out to someone when I am utterly, miserably alone? Why should I try to stimulate my mind and cheer up my emotions when it is my mind and my emotions that have turned on me?
Depression was anger. Seething, boiling rage that had no place to go, and no one to be directed at. I turned it inward. I turned it on the people who loved me. I unleashed it on God. I remember driving to the parking lot of my church one night, getting out of the car and just screaming obscenities and rage at the cross on the building. The verse in Job where his wife tells him to curse God and die? That was the perfect plan for me.
Depression was deciding to take the entire bottle of pain pills the doctor had prescribed me, and hating the person who found me passed out on my kitchen floor and made me vomit them up. It was attempting suicide two more times after that before I had graduated from high school. It was lying to the doctor, telling them that it was a cry for help and asking for something to make me feel better. I didn't want help, I wanted it to stop. I wanted relief. I was given anti-depressants.
So I did what everyone said I should do. I took the pills. They stopped me from crying. But they also stopped me from feeling anything. At least that kind of numbness was tolerable. I became a puppet. I felt like I was inside this shell of a body and I was just having to go through the motions of human life. I had graduated from high school, moved into my first apartment, got my first real job, got married and had a baby - all the while I really was just watching these things happen from behind the curtain of my mind.
Depression robbed me of truly enjoying the first few years of my son's life. I lived in a constant state of panic that something would happen to me. I made my husband or my mother call me every hour to make sure I was still OK. I was terrified that I would die and the baby would be left alone. My biggest fear? The one that gripped my heart in a still-memorable panic? That I would die, and he would be hungry, and crying for me, and he wouldn't understand why I didn't come. At least this finally put a stop to the thoughts of killing myself - what kind of mother would I be if I left my son now? He is truly that catalyst that caused me to begin to come out of it. I had to start taking care of myself, so that I could take care of him. I had to eat, because I was teaching him how to feed himself. I had to go out around other people, and begin investing in friendships again, because I refused to stifle him socially. I sang, I danced, I played games - all for him, because I was determined that he would have a happy childhood. I learned to love making lists, so that I didn't have to rely on my still-petrified mind to come up with things spontaneously for us to do, and so that my now-forgetful brain wouldn't keep us from having diapers, or books, or snacks when we were out.
Eventually, those habits took hold and helped me to control the emotions that were so chaotic. I enjoyed our outings. I loved our friends. I had a purpose and plan for my life again. I didn't feel alone anymore. I went back to college, I got a new job and a new house. Even though I went through a divorce, I still felt positive and upbeat. I made new friends, tried new experiences, stayed positive and happy so that my kids could see that everything was going to be OK.
It wasn't until about 3 years ago that God caught up with me. I had kept my kids in church, in fact we went to the same church where I had cried and raged all those years ago. I volunteered, taught Sunday School, sang on the praise team. But my faith was all for show. I had been raised in a Christian family, and I felt like I was living a lie. Surely I shouldn't be having a problem with my spiritual life. I knew all about God. I could answer all the questions. Respond with all of the cliche phrases. But I started asking myself "Why?". Why would a loving God let me go through all of that? Why would He allow me to have my life turned upside down? How could this possibly be His plan for me? Did He even have a plan for me? Didn't seem like it, because I had been having to do all of this on my own for years now! And then, I read a verse that has stuck with me ever since.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
That's when I was able to understand. Depression wasn't His plan for my life. He knew, in His omniscience, that I would go through this. But He never desired it for me. I started trying to rekindle that lost relationship, and am still in the process of learning to trust the Lord again. After nearly two decades of "knowing" that I was the only one who could handle my life, it is admittedly hard to relinquish that control. But honestly, I had to get over myself. At what point did I decide that I was more capable of running my life than the One who created it? I wasn't exactly doing a stellar job, either. I mean, teen pregnancy, college dropout, and a divorce making me a single mother didn't exactly sound like the primrose path I had envisioned for myself or portrayed to those around me. Maybe I needed to admit my own inability to do this, and get out of the way so that God could take control. Things are definitely better. I was able to successfully transition off of my antidepressants after 16 years (with the care and supervision of my doctor). My kids and I are happier. I live in a lovely, happy home. I am married to a strong, caring man who loves me and my children wholeheartedly. I have a great job, where I get to experience firsthand the way the people of God can show His love in their daily lives to those around them. Don't get me wrong, things are still difficult. Life is just hard, guys. I still have days where I slip up, and yank that steering wheel right out of His hands, exclaiming "Oh just let me do it!". There are days when I cry more than I have in years and think "I'm just not strong enough, I can't do this." And then I hear His sweet voice saying “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) and I think to myself "well, Lord, you are very perfect because I am very weak."
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Make Time For Interruptions
In case you don't know me personally, let me just clue you in on something: I am wholeheartedly a Type A personality. I would love to be spontaneous, but I forget to write it on my schedule. My husband, on the other hand, never has a plan. Well, to be fair, he does have a plan. "Have fun". J is all about enjoying the ride, and if we get to the destination, so much the better. I'm the kind of person that has mapped out the route, calculated when we will have to stop for gas and food, and is constantly watching the clock to make sure we are making good time. In other words, I am a worrier. And I'm great at it. I worry about worrying, and then I worry about that.
And you know what? I'm good at it, that's the weird thing. I could gold-medal in anxiety. You name it, I've worried about it. Even social anxiety. I'll worry about things that I said or did in ELEMENTARY school, for cryin' out loud! And I know its ridiculous. And then I worry about how ridiculous I am being. So, there's that.
Well, one of the things that I worry about is the memories my kids will have of their childhood. Will they think of it as warm, golden days? Will they look back and recall that we had a happy home? That J and I love each other and were united together in everything that we did? That I believe in my kids to no end? That I am their biggest fan? Will they look back - some day, when I'm really old - and remember be as being loving, funny, caring, soft, generous, kind?
Or, more frightening yet - will they look back and think that I was too busy? Too short-tempered? That I was too happy to let them entertain themselves? That I didn't play with theme nough? That I couldn't be bothered? That I was too busy taking care of the house that I neglected to make it a home? That is, I think, my greatest fear.
Over the past few months, I have been really feeling God speaking to me through this anxiety over my kids. He has shown me that when I am worrying about their safety, the best thing I can do for them is to place their safety into His hands. Aren't the hands that shaped the world a secure enough place for my two precious sons? When I am worried about their school performance or their friendships and confidence, He has shown me that their worth should be found in Christ first. That I should affirm their identity as a Child of God, and that I remind them that they are loved unconditionally. When I worry about the negative things they hear from the world - maybe they don't have the coolest new shoes, or they haven't seen that new movie, or they don't like that new game - He has told me to speak affirmation and positivity over them.
One of the ways that God is showing Himself present in my daily life is in my new office. I am surrounded daily by people who love God, and love His people. Who genuinely want the best for my family, and pray intentionally and fervently for it. It is a humbling experience, to say the least. One of these dear new friends shared a short line the other day when I was expressing these worries of mine. She said "Make time for interruptions." I took a minute to let that sink in, and have truthfully been mulling it over for nearly a week now.
Make time for interruptions.
What wise advice. Make it OK for your kids to come to you with a shoe that needs tied, or Legos that are stuck, or a juice box that needs opened. Make it OK for them to tell you a story for the millionth time about something that you have no idea about. Make it OK to stop doing your housework to sit down and have a tea party - or a Nerf war. It struck such a deep chord with me - how often have I told them I was too busy to do something, and what was I doing? Dishes? Please! How does that even compare? If you asked me if I would prioritize dirty dishes over my own children, I would say 100% NEVER. And yet... my actions...
It reminded me of a poem that I had read a long time ago, which still brings tears to my eyes. I'll share it with you below, but you are forewarned that you'll need tissues. And then hugs from your babies.
Song for a Fifth Child by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton (1921- )
Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!
Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)
Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
But children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby. Babies don't keep.
Friday, February 24, 2017
Control Freak
We are experiencing a period of renewal here at our home. We have embarked on new adventures, resurrected old dreams, realized new goals, and embraced the journey. The saying "take a leap of faith" can sound daunting, but wow - that faithful free-fall is exhilarating when you realize that letting go of control isn't what you think it is. I am a Type-A personality, and feeling "in control" is a big deal for me. I do not like surprises. I do love a plan. Recently God has been working on my heart to impress upon me I was NEVER actually in control of my life. I was NEVER actually in control of my family. God was. And is. And surrendering to that knowledge has been one of the most freeing actions I have ever taken.
There have been some very challenging times in the past few weeks, and in the midst of one of them I found myself in tears in my pastor's office. I said "I know that there is nothing I can do, but that feels so wrong. I should be able to do this. I should be able to affect a change in this situation. I should be able to have some control over what is going on." And then it hit me. This is something that I have said when offering encouragement to others, but had never actually verbalized to myself. If you are going through any kind of challenge right now, I want you to listen to the following verses. Carefully.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
There are absolutely 100% going to be days when I cannot handle what the world throws at me. There are going to be days - and probably a few of them - where I will not make it through on my own. And I'm not supposed to. I am supposed to ask Christ for help. Philippians 4:13 doesn't say "I can do everything on my own, and if I get into trouble I will ask for help." God knows our limits, and knowing them for ourselves is the first step to being able to successfully deal with seemingly insurmountable obstacles. We do not have to be strong enough to cope with everything. We do not have to feel like we are going to fail because we aren't strong enough, either. We can trust that God will use our weakness as a chance to show His strength. That by stepping aside and letting God be God, we are doing the most productive thing we can do.
At what point in my life did I decide that I knew better than the Creator what I should and shouldn't be doing? At what point did I take that power over my life out of His hands? I don't have that kind of authority, or ability. What a wise God He is for knowing that eventhough I am going to try to do it on my own, I really can't, and I still need Him. And what a gracious God He is for not putting me in my place the instant I decided to step over that line. You know what that reminds me of? When your toddler tries to dress themselves in the morning, and you have somewhere that you need to be. "I do it". Meanwhile you're thinking "Ugh! No! You're going to do it wrong, its going to be a mess, and its going to ruin the plans I have for this morning!" As mothers, do we really say those things? Of course not. We encourage their budding independence, we offer help when they can't seem to get one step done, and we wait patiently (outwardly at least!) while they are hunting for the shoes they can't find that are right beside them. Isn't our Heavenly Father infinitely more patient and helpful when it comes to our lives? We can't see the plans He has for us, although we can trust in the promise that it is good, we don't know what impact our moments of rebellion or unwillingness to listen will have on those plans.
Friends, I want to encourage you, if any of this sounds familiar - if you are someone who is struggling with the feeling that you are losing control, losing the grip that you once had... let go. Rest in the fact that God is control. Things in this life may take us by surprise, but they don't take Him by surprise. He is there for you, ready to help you, ready for you to lean on Him - to call on Him, to rely on Him - at all times. God isn't just a tool that we pull out for emergencies, to be placed safely back in storage until we need Him again. He wants to be with you through it all. He wants that close relationship with you. He doesn't want you to have to do it on your own. He really does love us so much.
This song has spoken to me so much lately. I hope that it blesses and encourages you just as it has me.
There have been some very challenging times in the past few weeks, and in the midst of one of them I found myself in tears in my pastor's office. I said "I know that there is nothing I can do, but that feels so wrong. I should be able to do this. I should be able to affect a change in this situation. I should be able to have some control over what is going on." And then it hit me. This is something that I have said when offering encouragement to others, but had never actually verbalized to myself. If you are going through any kind of challenge right now, I want you to listen to the following verses. Carefully.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
There are absolutely 100% going to be days when I cannot handle what the world throws at me. There are going to be days - and probably a few of them - where I will not make it through on my own. And I'm not supposed to. I am supposed to ask Christ for help. Philippians 4:13 doesn't say "I can do everything on my own, and if I get into trouble I will ask for help." God knows our limits, and knowing them for ourselves is the first step to being able to successfully deal with seemingly insurmountable obstacles. We do not have to be strong enough to cope with everything. We do not have to feel like we are going to fail because we aren't strong enough, either. We can trust that God will use our weakness as a chance to show His strength. That by stepping aside and letting God be God, we are doing the most productive thing we can do.
At what point in my life did I decide that I knew better than the Creator what I should and shouldn't be doing? At what point did I take that power over my life out of His hands? I don't have that kind of authority, or ability. What a wise God He is for knowing that eventhough I am going to try to do it on my own, I really can't, and I still need Him. And what a gracious God He is for not putting me in my place the instant I decided to step over that line. You know what that reminds me of? When your toddler tries to dress themselves in the morning, and you have somewhere that you need to be. "I do it". Meanwhile you're thinking "Ugh! No! You're going to do it wrong, its going to be a mess, and its going to ruin the plans I have for this morning!" As mothers, do we really say those things? Of course not. We encourage their budding independence, we offer help when they can't seem to get one step done, and we wait patiently (outwardly at least!) while they are hunting for the shoes they can't find that are right beside them. Isn't our Heavenly Father infinitely more patient and helpful when it comes to our lives? We can't see the plans He has for us, although we can trust in the promise that it is good, we don't know what impact our moments of rebellion or unwillingness to listen will have on those plans.
Friends, I want to encourage you, if any of this sounds familiar - if you are someone who is struggling with the feeling that you are losing control, losing the grip that you once had... let go. Rest in the fact that God is control. Things in this life may take us by surprise, but they don't take Him by surprise. He is there for you, ready to help you, ready for you to lean on Him - to call on Him, to rely on Him - at all times. God isn't just a tool that we pull out for emergencies, to be placed safely back in storage until we need Him again. He wants to be with you through it all. He wants that close relationship with you. He doesn't want you to have to do it on your own. He really does love us so much.
This song has spoken to me so much lately. I hope that it blesses and encourages you just as it has me.
Saturday, February 4, 2017
Forgotten Chicken
I know you're thinking "How could she forget about her chickens? Is this woman qualified to own animals?!" Trust me, the girls are fine.
No, no. I'm talking about a chicken dinner. That I forgot. For 2 hours.
Here's the story:
I decided to make a roast chicken for dinner before soccer practice. I looked up recipes online which told me to roast it at 425 for 30 minutes, and then 350 for an hour. I thought "great! I can do the first part before we leave, turn the oven down and it will continue to roast while we are at soccer, and when we get home it will be ready to eat! Bueno."
But no bueno. Somehow, I did not correctly adjust the temperature on my oven before we left for soccer (even though I could have sworn that I had), and left the bird in there cooking away, uncovered, at 425 for a further hour. Then, of course, practice went long. We were at soccer for an hour and a half. I got home, smelled the chicken cooking - and NOT burned, and checked the oven. When I saw that it was still roasting away at 425 I panicked. I thought "Oh no! It's ruined. We are about to renact the Christmas dinner scene from Christmas Vacation. No one is going to eat this, and I am going to have to take everyone out for dinner." J had the same thoughts when I pulled this chicken out of the oven.
I reluctantly told everyone to get their shoes on, and decide on a place to eat for dinner, and braced myself for the barage of mom jokes that were sure to come. It has become a regular thing at my house that whenever I mess something up, it is henceforth referred to as a "Jessi Project". I don't know why my kids find this so funny, as they were the first two Jessi Projects, but I digress.
As we were about to walk out the door, I decided that I would just check. If it wasn't too dry, I would eat it when we got home, or I could toss it in soup or something. Maybe there was some way I could salvage this chicken, and in doing so, my own pride.
Guys, it was perfect. It was crispy on the outside. Juicy and tender on the inside. I gleefully told them "ha ha! I didn't ruin it! Set the table!" We sat down to what has to be the best roasted chicken I have ever made. It was legendary. We still talk about it.
Tonight, I got out the chicken to get it washed and ready for roasting. Instead of the usual groans and sighs of disappointed resignation, I was greeted with "Yes! Forgotten chicken! This is going to be great! When is dinner?"
I tossed it in the oven, and promptly forgot about it. I am sure it is going to be just as delicious as last time. And I can't wait.
No, no. I'm talking about a chicken dinner. That I forgot. For 2 hours.
Here's the story:
I decided to make a roast chicken for dinner before soccer practice. I looked up recipes online which told me to roast it at 425 for 30 minutes, and then 350 for an hour. I thought "great! I can do the first part before we leave, turn the oven down and it will continue to roast while we are at soccer, and when we get home it will be ready to eat! Bueno."
But no bueno. Somehow, I did not correctly adjust the temperature on my oven before we left for soccer (even though I could have sworn that I had), and left the bird in there cooking away, uncovered, at 425 for a further hour. Then, of course, practice went long. We were at soccer for an hour and a half. I got home, smelled the chicken cooking - and NOT burned, and checked the oven. When I saw that it was still roasting away at 425 I panicked. I thought "Oh no! It's ruined. We are about to renact the Christmas dinner scene from Christmas Vacation. No one is going to eat this, and I am going to have to take everyone out for dinner." J had the same thoughts when I pulled this chicken out of the oven.
I reluctantly told everyone to get their shoes on, and decide on a place to eat for dinner, and braced myself for the barage of mom jokes that were sure to come. It has become a regular thing at my house that whenever I mess something up, it is henceforth referred to as a "Jessi Project". I don't know why my kids find this so funny, as they were the first two Jessi Projects, but I digress.
As we were about to walk out the door, I decided that I would just check. If it wasn't too dry, I would eat it when we got home, or I could toss it in soup or something. Maybe there was some way I could salvage this chicken, and in doing so, my own pride.
Guys, it was perfect. It was crispy on the outside. Juicy and tender on the inside. I gleefully told them "ha ha! I didn't ruin it! Set the table!" We sat down to what has to be the best roasted chicken I have ever made. It was legendary. We still talk about it.
Tonight, I got out the chicken to get it washed and ready for roasting. Instead of the usual groans and sighs of disappointed resignation, I was greeted with "Yes! Forgotten chicken! This is going to be great! When is dinner?"
I tossed it in the oven, and promptly forgot about it. I am sure it is going to be just as delicious as last time. And I can't wait.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
Meal Plan - February 2017
My meal plan for January went so well, I figured that I should do one for February, too. 28 days. This time, I did repeat some meals - mainly because these were the favorites that were asked to be repeated, and we have a lot of stuff coming up this month and I don't want to try to figure out new recipes.
2/1 - Spinach stuffed shells (make a big batch, freeze half for later)
2/2 - chicken enchiladas (same)
2/3 - DIY Pizzas
2/4 - Roast chicken, veggies, potatoes
2/5 - Nacho Bar - SUPERBOWL SUNDAY
2/6 - School fundraiser - eat out
2/7 - Breakfast for dinner: bacon, eggs, hashbrowns
2/8 - Spaghetti & meatballs (make all your meatballs and sauce, freeze for later)
2/9 - Sloppy joes, french fries, salad
2/10 - Macaroni & cheese
2/11 - sausage & peppers
2/12 - leftovers
2/13 - grilled cheese & soup
2/14 - VALENTINE'S DAY - marinated skirt steak, roast potatoes, broccoli
2/15 - baked pasta
2/16 - slow cooker chicken & stuffing
2/17 - DIY Pizzas
2/18 - Fundraiser night - eat out
2/19 - BBQ Chicken, veggies
2/20 - Meatball subs
2/21 - Breakfast Burritos
2/22 - sloppy joes, tater tots
2/23 - meatloaf, potatoes
2/24 - spinach stuffed shells
2/25 - chicken enchiladas
2/26 - macaroni & Cheese
2/27 - left overs
2/28 - grilled cheese & soup
Below is the shopping list - NOTE, this is my shopping list for the WHOLE month. It includes things like paper towels and Zyrtec. I'll update this post with my final price for my groceries tomorrow after I have done the shopping.
2/1 - Spinach stuffed shells (make a big batch, freeze half for later)
2/2 - chicken enchiladas (same)
2/3 - DIY Pizzas
2/4 - Roast chicken, veggies, potatoes
2/5 - Nacho Bar - SUPERBOWL SUNDAY
2/6 - School fundraiser - eat out
2/7 - Breakfast for dinner: bacon, eggs, hashbrowns
2/8 - Spaghetti & meatballs (make all your meatballs and sauce, freeze for later)
2/9 - Sloppy joes, french fries, salad
2/10 - Macaroni & cheese
2/11 - sausage & peppers
2/12 - leftovers
2/13 - grilled cheese & soup
2/14 - VALENTINE'S DAY - marinated skirt steak, roast potatoes, broccoli
2/15 - baked pasta
2/16 - slow cooker chicken & stuffing
2/17 - DIY Pizzas
2/18 - Fundraiser night - eat out
2/19 - BBQ Chicken, veggies
2/20 - Meatball subs
2/21 - Breakfast Burritos
2/22 - sloppy joes, tater tots
2/23 - meatloaf, potatoes
2/24 - spinach stuffed shells
2/25 - chicken enchiladas
2/26 - macaroni & Cheese
2/27 - left overs
2/28 - grilled cheese & soup
Below is the shopping list - NOTE, this is my shopping list for the WHOLE month. It includes things like paper towels and Zyrtec. I'll update this post with my final price for my groceries tomorrow after I have done the shopping.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Time Flies
This is a short post, and yes it is very sappy, but I am way too emotional to be thought-provoking and witty right now.
Tonight I got to watch my son perform in his Fifth Grade musical performance. He has attended this school for 7 years (it's preschool through 5th grade), and beyond his kindergarten performance, this is the one that touched me the most. Sitting in the cafeteria, surrounded by familiar faces, watching our kids dance and sing and have fun - it was amazing. Our kids have literally grown up together. I've been sitting in that cafeteria with these parents and grandparents and siblings for 7 years. It blows my mind how quickly the time has gone. Look at all the amazing things our kids have accomplished in this time! Learned to read, write, make friendships. Play instruments, speak a new language. We've gone from finger paint to algebra in 7 short years. And yes, they were short. This is something that I never truly understood until I became a parent, but the time just FLIES by. Whether you're having fun or not. It goes by in an instant. These times that seem to be the very hardest in your life - you will look back on them fondly and think "I would do it all again". And I would. Sticky fingers, runny noses, reading the same book a million times each day, watching way too much Sesame Street. Play time, toddler time, bath times, nap times. Homework, and school lunches, projects, book reports, class parties, field trips, book fair, fundraisers. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Just keep that in mind, momma, as you're taking a deep, exasperated sigh before getting another cup of water, reading one more bedtime story, giving one more hug. It goes by so fast.
Tonight I got to watch my son perform in his Fifth Grade musical performance. He has attended this school for 7 years (it's preschool through 5th grade), and beyond his kindergarten performance, this is the one that touched me the most. Sitting in the cafeteria, surrounded by familiar faces, watching our kids dance and sing and have fun - it was amazing. Our kids have literally grown up together. I've been sitting in that cafeteria with these parents and grandparents and siblings for 7 years. It blows my mind how quickly the time has gone. Look at all the amazing things our kids have accomplished in this time! Learned to read, write, make friendships. Play instruments, speak a new language. We've gone from finger paint to algebra in 7 short years. And yes, they were short. This is something that I never truly understood until I became a parent, but the time just FLIES by. Whether you're having fun or not. It goes by in an instant. These times that seem to be the very hardest in your life - you will look back on them fondly and think "I would do it all again". And I would. Sticky fingers, runny noses, reading the same book a million times each day, watching way too much Sesame Street. Play time, toddler time, bath times, nap times. Homework, and school lunches, projects, book reports, class parties, field trips, book fair, fundraisers. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Just keep that in mind, momma, as you're taking a deep, exasperated sigh before getting another cup of water, reading one more bedtime story, giving one more hug. It goes by so fast.
Saturday, January 28, 2017
Friday, January 27, 2017
Good Grief... and Greater Grace
Do you ever feel anxious about something that you have said or done long after the fact? Like, I still get anxiety about things that I said as a pre-teen. That was QUITE a few years ago. But I worry that THAT moment of awkwardness is the first thing people will think about when they remember me. I have for a long time desired that I would be remembered as a loving, caring, sweet, kind-hearted woman full of grace by those who know me. And yet, when I have heard people describe me it is in terms like "funny, witty, snarky, sarcastic, dark sense of humor" and the like. Sure, those things DO describe me, but if I could trade, I would. I was recently on an interview and afterward I called my friend who works in the same office and told her how it went. She said "Oh, they called and asked me to tell them more about you and I said you were very black and white, that you would get things done, wouldn't let anyone push you around, and would call people on their crap." I mean - I guess these are good things, but not quite the meek and mild spirit I have been longing to cultivate. This is what I get for being a strong-willed child, I suppose.
Well ACTUALLY, my mother would inform you that what I get for being a strong-willed child is getting to RAISE a strong-willed child. Joy of joys. Seriously, 90% of the time I am praying that they will use their powers to lead the world and not a gang.
One of the struggles that I have been having with one particular strong-willed child in my house is homework. Guys, really. We are to the point where he is telling me "yes, I did my homework" and what he means is "I did my math homework, but not my language arts and my special project for this week". Last night, as I was packing backpacks and making sure the house was ready for the next day, I chanced to flip through their planners. Empty. Blank homework pages. Now, it was already about 10 pm, so I wasn't about to wake them up and make them do their homework. But you better believe I had those boys out of bed and sat down at the table bright and early this morning. My eldest tells me "well, I lost the list of spelling words on Tuesday, so I haven't been able to do this homework." "Son, this is Friday. Why wouldn't you get another spelling list when you were at school the other 3 days this week?!" You know what answer I got? A shoulder shrug.
And then it happened. I lost my ever-lovin' mind. I went into a rant about how I have already passed the 5th grade, and that afforded me the luxury of not having to stay on top of 5th grade homework any more. How I shouldn't have to (but did) ask online in the PTSA Facebook page for the 5th grade spelling list so that HE could finish his homework. How I thought we had already worked on this problem LAST semester, and that I thought he had outgrown this. How this was NEVER going to happen again, and isn't he a lucky boy that he has a mom who is on top of things, and actually cares about his grades and makes sure he is being successful in school?
After I dropped them off (a few minutes late, because I made him finish his homework) at school this morning, I was seething quietly in my car in the parking lot for a few minutes. You know what happened? God got ahold of me.
"Jessi? I thought we had worked on this temper. This kind of frustration is NEVER going to happen again. I have already paid for that sin. I shouldn't be having to bring this to your attention because this is YOUR area of weakness. Aren't you a lucky woman that you have a God who is on top of things, and actually cares about your actions, words, and behavior to make sure you are successful in life?" Yes, God can be sarcastic, folks.
You see, it is easy to WANT to respond with Grace. It is a whole 'nuther thing to actually do it. Did my son need me yelling at him this morning while he is hunched over his homework, worrying about being late for school? Nope. Wasn't the fact that he would have gotten a bad grade on his homework punishment enough? Couldn't I have just said "well, you're going to get the grade you worked for" and left it at that? Let him go off to school knowing that he had let me down, and that I was disappointed in his behavior, but not in him as a person? That would have been the gracious, loving answer.
Aren't we so lucky (truthfully) that God doesn't respond to us the way we respond to others? That there is never shame, or gloating, and that we never feel like He is doing us a favor by forgiving us? His forgiveness is complete, He is not going to throw it back in our face and say "Do you remember the LAST time I forgave you for this? You are so lucky that I am in such a forgiving mood, but this is not ever going to happen again." God tells us in 1 John 1:9 that "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us". Is there something that you are struggling with today? I encourage you to confess it to God, ask Him to forgive you of it, and ask Him to help you deal with it in your life.
For me, I will ask His forgiveness for my short temper this morning and ask that He continues to cultivate the desire and the ability in me to respond in Grace. I'll also be asking forgiveness from the kids when they get home from school. While I may have been justified in my reaction, it isn't the kind of memory I want them to have of their mother. If I can't be remembered right now for my gracious spirit, I can at least be remembered as being a mother who was willing to see her own shortcomings, and who demonstrated to her children that you can always be working on yourself.
Well ACTUALLY, my mother would inform you that what I get for being a strong-willed child is getting to RAISE a strong-willed child. Joy of joys. Seriously, 90% of the time I am praying that they will use their powers to lead the world and not a gang.
One of the struggles that I have been having with one particular strong-willed child in my house is homework. Guys, really. We are to the point where he is telling me "yes, I did my homework" and what he means is "I did my math homework, but not my language arts and my special project for this week". Last night, as I was packing backpacks and making sure the house was ready for the next day, I chanced to flip through their planners. Empty. Blank homework pages. Now, it was already about 10 pm, so I wasn't about to wake them up and make them do their homework. But you better believe I had those boys out of bed and sat down at the table bright and early this morning. My eldest tells me "well, I lost the list of spelling words on Tuesday, so I haven't been able to do this homework." "Son, this is Friday. Why wouldn't you get another spelling list when you were at school the other 3 days this week?!" You know what answer I got? A shoulder shrug.
And then it happened. I lost my ever-lovin' mind. I went into a rant about how I have already passed the 5th grade, and that afforded me the luxury of not having to stay on top of 5th grade homework any more. How I shouldn't have to (but did) ask online in the PTSA Facebook page for the 5th grade spelling list so that HE could finish his homework. How I thought we had already worked on this problem LAST semester, and that I thought he had outgrown this. How this was NEVER going to happen again, and isn't he a lucky boy that he has a mom who is on top of things, and actually cares about his grades and makes sure he is being successful in school?
After I dropped them off (a few minutes late, because I made him finish his homework) at school this morning, I was seething quietly in my car in the parking lot for a few minutes. You know what happened? God got ahold of me.
"Jessi? I thought we had worked on this temper. This kind of frustration is NEVER going to happen again. I have already paid for that sin. I shouldn't be having to bring this to your attention because this is YOUR area of weakness. Aren't you a lucky woman that you have a God who is on top of things, and actually cares about your actions, words, and behavior to make sure you are successful in life?" Yes, God can be sarcastic, folks.
You see, it is easy to WANT to respond with Grace. It is a whole 'nuther thing to actually do it. Did my son need me yelling at him this morning while he is hunched over his homework, worrying about being late for school? Nope. Wasn't the fact that he would have gotten a bad grade on his homework punishment enough? Couldn't I have just said "well, you're going to get the grade you worked for" and left it at that? Let him go off to school knowing that he had let me down, and that I was disappointed in his behavior, but not in him as a person? That would have been the gracious, loving answer.
Aren't we so lucky (truthfully) that God doesn't respond to us the way we respond to others? That there is never shame, or gloating, and that we never feel like He is doing us a favor by forgiving us? His forgiveness is complete, He is not going to throw it back in our face and say "Do you remember the LAST time I forgave you for this? You are so lucky that I am in such a forgiving mood, but this is not ever going to happen again." God tells us in 1 John 1:9 that "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us". Is there something that you are struggling with today? I encourage you to confess it to God, ask Him to forgive you of it, and ask Him to help you deal with it in your life.
For me, I will ask His forgiveness for my short temper this morning and ask that He continues to cultivate the desire and the ability in me to respond in Grace. I'll also be asking forgiveness from the kids when they get home from school. While I may have been justified in my reaction, it isn't the kind of memory I want them to have of their mother. If I can't be remembered right now for my gracious spirit, I can at least be remembered as being a mother who was willing to see her own shortcomings, and who demonstrated to her children that you can always be working on yourself.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Sausage and Peppers
Shut the front door - this was delicious! This is definitely a recipe to hold on to. In hindsight, I would have maybe made it with less jalapenos, but oh well... it was so good!
This is the recipe for one of the meals on my January 2017 meal plan that I posted a few days ago - so you know that it is budget-friendly and simple to pull off.
1 package mild italian sausages
2 green bell peppers, cut into slices
2 red bell peppers, cut into slices
1 tsp garlic, chopped (I use the jar of minced garlic and I put in a teaspoon of that, I would imagine this is 1 good-sized clove if you are mincing it yourself)
salt to taste
pepper to taste
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 sweet onion, cut into slices
4 jalapenos, cut into slices
Preparation:
1. In a good-sized pot or large skillet (I used my big soup pot) heat the olive oil and sautee the garlic. Add the sausages and let them cook, browning all sides.
2. Remove sausage from the pot and set aside.
3. Add peppers, jalapenos, onions, salt and pepper. Sautee until veggies are done to your liking and onions are translucent.
4. Slice the sausages into bite-sized pieces, about 1/2 inch. Add to the pot.
5. Cover and let cook for about 5 additional minutes.
6. Serve over rice, baked potatoes, with a nice roll, or however you would like!
Last night we had ours over baked potatoes. I am by no means a food photographer, but this gives you the general idea. We loved it, and enjoyed the leftovers today for lunch over toast.
Enjoy!
Friday, January 13, 2017
"You're doing what?"
I recently had a conversation with a new dear friend about how crazy hectic our lives are. And she pointed out to me just how busy J and I are. She's right! I knew that we had a lot of irons in the fire, but when I really sat down and looked at it, we have a TON of them! But we love it this way! J and I are always looking to expand our knowledge, learn new skills and grow as people. And if there is a way to do that AND to financially benefit our family - that's a win-win! It is something that we have been trying to impart to our children, too, that if you can do it well and be successful the best person to work for is yourself. If you need something done, learn the skill and learn how to do it yourself! We've taught them about changing the oil and belts in the car, basic carpentry, animal care, gardening, cooking, etc.
Now, I haven't always been like this - even though I was raised to be self-sufficient. I got lazy. There was a time in my life where I honestly just found it easier to be able to pay someone to do something for me. If there was a service that I could afford, I had it. To be entirely truthful, I got a bit of a rush out of being able to afford it. It was almost a status symbol - which is a very ugly thing to admit. But then I got to a point in my life where I found that I actually had forgotten the skills I had learned in my childhood, and realized that by allowing others to do something for me I was actually cheating myself out of the satisfaction of completing a challenge. Thankfully I now look at almost everything and think "I can do that". That shift in my thinking is what has led me to the life I have now, in all its crazy glory!
One of the first steps that I took toward that shift was partnering with Drs. Katie Rodan and Kathy Fields. I had tried a direct sales business years ago and I was terrible at it - rarely making sales and never meeting any goals. There are a lot of direct sales and network marketing companies out there, and I am certainly not taking the position that they are no good. But I do want to point out some of the reasons why I chose R+F. About 3 years ago I saw a friend of mine who had partnered with Rodan + Fields and was having crazy success. I watched and watched as her family was becoming more and more financially independent as she was achieving these goals and milestones in the company, and finally I messaged her and asked for more information. I made the decision that night to invest in myself this time, rather than to buy into a company or a "scheme". I purchased a business kit and became a consultant with R+F. The reason why I say I partnered with the Doctors is because that really is what happened. I own my R+F business outright, and it is an inheritable business for my children. Not only am I building an income right now, but I am also securing an income for them in the future.
When I first heard about R+F and allowed my friend to tell me about it, one of the things that really struck me was the credibility of the doctors. I'm sure you've heard of their other amazing product for acne - ProActiv! These are two Stanford-trained dermatologists who still have an active practice in the San Fransisco Bay Area. That's right, you can make an appointment to go see them! But, if you'd like to save on the co-pay and the wait time, you can just order their clinical grade products for everything from acne, sensitive skin, sun damage, wrinkles, redness, etc. on my personal website.
That was another thing - I have a website. MY OWN website. No one has to go to an impersonal corporate website and remember my consultant ID number or anything like that. I don't have to take orders, handle payments, deliver products - that is all handled through the website itself. AND as part of my business, the website has a back office section that has all of my business information. Come tax time, I just log in and print off my reports and I am ready to go. For the record, my personal site is https://jessical.myrandf.biz/
Another great point - all of my purchases are a business expense. My business kit was a business expense that I was able to write off at the end of the year. Because we are a word-of-mouth company, all of the products that I use myself and then tell people about (or share pictures of) is a business expense. Which means that I'm able to write those off at the end of the year, too. Any incentives, bonuses, giveaways, etc. that I may do during the year? Business expense.
I'm not required to carry an inventory (although sometimes I do, just to have things on hand - once I had a friend who had a sunless tanner emergency and couldn't wait until her order would have been delivered. No problem, we had some locally for her to just pick up!). I'm not required to have parties - I've occasionally had friends over for margaritas and to sample to products. Sometimes I'll set out some samples at Starbucks or Chick Fil A while I am there, but having to schedule parties all the time? Nope. I run this entirely on my own time - that means that if there is a soccer game or field trip, I don't miss it because I have to be "at work". I am completely available for my family at any time, and that was my whole goal in the first place.
I'm not going to lie - the final thing that pushed me to jump into this business was the income potential. I mean honestly, where else do you have the ability to make this kind of income for working primarily from your computer talking about what you wash your face with? I literally get paid to wash my face and tell people about it. That's crazy. What's crazier? These numbers:
Now, I haven't always been like this - even though I was raised to be self-sufficient. I got lazy. There was a time in my life where I honestly just found it easier to be able to pay someone to do something for me. If there was a service that I could afford, I had it. To be entirely truthful, I got a bit of a rush out of being able to afford it. It was almost a status symbol - which is a very ugly thing to admit. But then I got to a point in my life where I found that I actually had forgotten the skills I had learned in my childhood, and realized that by allowing others to do something for me I was actually cheating myself out of the satisfaction of completing a challenge. Thankfully I now look at almost everything and think "I can do that". That shift in my thinking is what has led me to the life I have now, in all its crazy glory!
One of the first steps that I took toward that shift was partnering with Drs. Katie Rodan and Kathy Fields. I had tried a direct sales business years ago and I was terrible at it - rarely making sales and never meeting any goals. There are a lot of direct sales and network marketing companies out there, and I am certainly not taking the position that they are no good. But I do want to point out some of the reasons why I chose R+F. About 3 years ago I saw a friend of mine who had partnered with Rodan + Fields and was having crazy success. I watched and watched as her family was becoming more and more financially independent as she was achieving these goals and milestones in the company, and finally I messaged her and asked for more information. I made the decision that night to invest in myself this time, rather than to buy into a company or a "scheme". I purchased a business kit and became a consultant with R+F. The reason why I say I partnered with the Doctors is because that really is what happened. I own my R+F business outright, and it is an inheritable business for my children. Not only am I building an income right now, but I am also securing an income for them in the future.
When I first heard about R+F and allowed my friend to tell me about it, one of the things that really struck me was the credibility of the doctors. I'm sure you've heard of their other amazing product for acne - ProActiv! These are two Stanford-trained dermatologists who still have an active practice in the San Fransisco Bay Area. That's right, you can make an appointment to go see them! But, if you'd like to save on the co-pay and the wait time, you can just order their clinical grade products for everything from acne, sensitive skin, sun damage, wrinkles, redness, etc. on my personal website.
That was another thing - I have a website. MY OWN website. No one has to go to an impersonal corporate website and remember my consultant ID number or anything like that. I don't have to take orders, handle payments, deliver products - that is all handled through the website itself. AND as part of my business, the website has a back office section that has all of my business information. Come tax time, I just log in and print off my reports and I am ready to go. For the record, my personal site is https://jessical.myrandf.biz/
Another great point - all of my purchases are a business expense. My business kit was a business expense that I was able to write off at the end of the year. Because we are a word-of-mouth company, all of the products that I use myself and then tell people about (or share pictures of) is a business expense. Which means that I'm able to write those off at the end of the year, too. Any incentives, bonuses, giveaways, etc. that I may do during the year? Business expense.
I'm not required to carry an inventory (although sometimes I do, just to have things on hand - once I had a friend who had a sunless tanner emergency and couldn't wait until her order would have been delivered. No problem, we had some locally for her to just pick up!). I'm not required to have parties - I've occasionally had friends over for margaritas and to sample to products. Sometimes I'll set out some samples at Starbucks or Chick Fil A while I am there, but having to schedule parties all the time? Nope. I run this entirely on my own time - that means that if there is a soccer game or field trip, I don't miss it because I have to be "at work". I am completely available for my family at any time, and that was my whole goal in the first place.
I'm not going to lie - the final thing that pushed me to jump into this business was the income potential. I mean honestly, where else do you have the ability to make this kind of income for working primarily from your computer talking about what you wash your face with? I literally get paid to wash my face and tell people about it. That's crazy. What's crazier? These numbers:
Now, if you have any questions for me - I would love to hear them. If you want more information on the products, let me know - I love to share them. I've had amazing results, and I've seen amazing results. All of our products come with a 60-day money back guarantee, so why not give it a shot? If you're interested in more information about the business and what it takes to make it work or even how to get started - send me a message! There is no pressure, no obligation, no hard feelings if you decide it isn't for you. But here's the thing. What if it IS?
Monday, January 9, 2017
Grocery Store Victory
This is the story of how I fed my family of 4 for 3 weeks on $271.
You read that right.
4 people.
3 weeks.
No repeated meals.
$271.
AND we're eating real food - not just Ramen.
This morning on my FB page, I posted that I was going to try to tackle this challenge, and I got a few friends who gave me an encouraging thumbs-up. Getting our grocery budget down to a manageable size has been a game that we have been playing for a few years now. The kids like to take a calculator and total everything up as we are putting it in the cart. We do meal plans and shopping lists, and try not to eat out too often (this, we fail at to an embarrassing extent, but we try).
BUT, with our current freeze on our spending - until our Etsy business (SHOP HERE PLEASE!) takes off we have about half of the income that we had previously - now it really isn't just for fun anymore. We got our paycheck today and knew that we needed to really make this one count.
I spent a few hours on the computer this morning researching some meal plans that would go further. I checked sales online, I loaded coupons to my card, and I made my grocery list. Jasen and I met the kids at school to eat lunch with them, and then we bravely headed into the grocery store. We knew that we had a goal of staying under $500 to get ALL of our groceries for the month - but I had this secret hope that I could keep it at $300. J was getting a little nervous as we hauled 2 VERY full grocery carts through the store, but when we totaled it up - he was THRILLED!
I posted my victory as a reply to my original FB post and several friends were surprised as well, so I thought "hey, I need a new blog post, and people are asking me how I did this - ta da!".
Now that you've read through all of that - I will actually post my meal plan for the rest of January, AND my shopping list. The shopping list has the main ingredients that I needed for my meal plan. Of course there are things that are needed like spices, sugar, flour, etc. that I had in my pantry already. Yes, I see that eggs are on there. My chickens are free-loading good-for-nothings. I had to buy eggs. There is also a column for things for the kids - that is what we needed to make lunches & snacks for the rest of the month. I didn't have too many coupons - I had one for $.30 off when you buy 2 15 oz. cans of tomato sauce, so I bought 6 of those, instead of 3 of the larger cans. They were $.49 each, so it would have been $2.94, but with the coupon I paid $2.04. The large cans were $1.29, so it would have been $3.87 to get 3 of those. I had one coupon for $1 off 2 boxes of Jolly Time popcorn, which were on sale 2/$4. I had a $3 off coupon for the meat department. I can post recipes for what I'm making if you would like them - just shout out in the comments. If you're enjoying reading the escapades of mine - please subscribe to my blog. It makes my heart happy :)
Meal Plan - January 2017
1/10 - Crock pot Beef & Broccoli, Rice
1/11 - Spaghetti & Meatballs, Salad
1/12 - Egg Fried Rice
1/13 - Black Bean & Corn Quesadillas
1/14 - Mini Corn dog Bites, French Fries
1/15 - Meatball Subs, Salad
1/16 - Spinach 3-cheese Stuffed Shells
1/17 - Split Pea Soup & Grilled Cheese
1/18 - Pasta with bacon & peas
1/19 - Asian Stir Fry, Rice
1/20 - BBQ Pulled Pork, French Fries
1/21 - Roasted Chicken, Mixed Veggies, Baked Potatoes
1/22 - Macaroni & Cheese, Peas
1/23 - Chicken Enchilada Bake, Corn
1/24 - Breakfast Burritos
1/25 - Teriyaki Chicken Meatballs, Rice, Broccoli
1/26 - Eggplant Parmesan
1/27 - Chicken Pot Pie Soup
1/28 - Pierogies with Caramelized Onions and Bacon
1/29 - BBQ Chicken Thighs
1/30 - Meatloaf, Mixed Veggies
1/31 - DIY Pizzas
Grocery List
You read that right.
4 people.
3 weeks.
No repeated meals.
$271.
AND we're eating real food - not just Ramen.
This morning on my FB page, I posted that I was going to try to tackle this challenge, and I got a few friends who gave me an encouraging thumbs-up. Getting our grocery budget down to a manageable size has been a game that we have been playing for a few years now. The kids like to take a calculator and total everything up as we are putting it in the cart. We do meal plans and shopping lists, and try not to eat out too often (this, we fail at to an embarrassing extent, but we try).
BUT, with our current freeze on our spending - until our Etsy business (SHOP HERE PLEASE!) takes off we have about half of the income that we had previously - now it really isn't just for fun anymore. We got our paycheck today and knew that we needed to really make this one count.
I spent a few hours on the computer this morning researching some meal plans that would go further. I checked sales online, I loaded coupons to my card, and I made my grocery list. Jasen and I met the kids at school to eat lunch with them, and then we bravely headed into the grocery store. We knew that we had a goal of staying under $500 to get ALL of our groceries for the month - but I had this secret hope that I could keep it at $300. J was getting a little nervous as we hauled 2 VERY full grocery carts through the store, but when we totaled it up - he was THRILLED!
I posted my victory as a reply to my original FB post and several friends were surprised as well, so I thought "hey, I need a new blog post, and people are asking me how I did this - ta da!".
Now that you've read through all of that - I will actually post my meal plan for the rest of January, AND my shopping list. The shopping list has the main ingredients that I needed for my meal plan. Of course there are things that are needed like spices, sugar, flour, etc. that I had in my pantry already. Yes, I see that eggs are on there. My chickens are free-loading good-for-nothings. I had to buy eggs. There is also a column for things for the kids - that is what we needed to make lunches & snacks for the rest of the month. I didn't have too many coupons - I had one for $.30 off when you buy 2 15 oz. cans of tomato sauce, so I bought 6 of those, instead of 3 of the larger cans. They were $.49 each, so it would have been $2.94, but with the coupon I paid $2.04. The large cans were $1.29, so it would have been $3.87 to get 3 of those. I had one coupon for $1 off 2 boxes of Jolly Time popcorn, which were on sale 2/$4. I had a $3 off coupon for the meat department. I can post recipes for what I'm making if you would like them - just shout out in the comments. If you're enjoying reading the escapades of mine - please subscribe to my blog. It makes my heart happy :)
Meal Plan - January 2017
1/10 - Crock pot Beef & Broccoli, Rice
1/11 - Spaghetti & Meatballs, Salad
1/12 - Egg Fried Rice
1/13 - Black Bean & Corn Quesadillas
1/14 - Mini Corn dog Bites, French Fries
1/15 - Meatball Subs, Salad
1/16 - Spinach 3-cheese Stuffed Shells
1/17 - Split Pea Soup & Grilled Cheese
1/18 - Pasta with bacon & peas
1/19 - Asian Stir Fry, Rice
1/20 - BBQ Pulled Pork, French Fries
1/21 - Roasted Chicken, Mixed Veggies, Baked Potatoes
1/22 - Macaroni & Cheese, Peas
1/23 - Chicken Enchilada Bake, Corn
1/24 - Breakfast Burritos
1/25 - Teriyaki Chicken Meatballs, Rice, Broccoli
1/26 - Eggplant Parmesan
1/27 - Chicken Pot Pie Soup
1/28 - Pierogies with Caramelized Onions and Bacon
1/29 - BBQ Chicken Thighs
1/30 - Meatloaf, Mixed Veggies
1/31 - DIY Pizzas
Grocery List
Thursday, January 5, 2017
FOMO
Have you heard of FOMO? Do you suffer from it? I don't. I'm one of those people that frequently regrets making plans because it means that I have to go out. You know. OUT THERE. Which is, by definition - not HERE. Here is where I am comfortable and would prefer to be.
In case you aren't up on the lingo - FOMO is "Fear Of Missing Out". Where you have anxiety that something exciting or interesting is happening in a place other than where you are.
This is definitely not me. I'm fine. I enjoy spending time with my friends - don't get me wrong. But I definitely don't have any anxiety that if I am staying in for the night I may be missing something wonderful.
But some people do have that urge to find out what they are missing out on, because they are sure that there is SOMETHING they are missing out on. Something is missing, and even if they don't know what it is, they know that they are missing out on it and they want it.
That got DH and I to thinkin' the other day. Isn't that a pretty constant state for people? No matter who you are, or where you are from - what culture, what language, what color, what religion, etc. It doesn't matter. People - and I mean "humans" - are always searching for something more. There is some void in our lives that needs to be filled. We fill it with different things - education, hobbies, family, vacations, work, and on and on and on. But we are always trying to fill it with something.
He and I had a conversation the other day where I was explaining to him that I felt a little empty lately. We have so many things going on in our lives right now, that it is hard to imagine feeling anything other than FULL. Our kids are in elementary school, we have all these animals and things to take care of around our house. DH left his job, so he is home and working on the woodworking business (check out our projects here) and getting started with going back to school. I'm also looking at finishing my degree, I work part time doing childcare, I work my Rodan + Fields business (for product information click here), and working on the new home decor projects (stop by our Etsy shop), and that is all on top of the regular responsibilities of being a homemaker. How on earth could I be feeling empty?
We started thinking about it and praying over it, and that's when I discovered what was going on. I have been trying to fill my life up with STUFF. How can I help support my family? How can I be a better wife and mother? How can I make this time together more special? How can I balance all of these responsibilities? Why wasn't this enough? What else was it that I was chasing?
And then, because God is good and because He loves us - He answered that question in the sweet, calm way that He tends to do. During our Bible study the other day, one of the verses tucked away in a passage I was reading - which had NOTHING to do with this question - hit the nail right on the head.
Psalm 27:8
"My heart says of you, "Seek His face!". Your face, LORD, I will seek."
God created us because He wants to have a relationship with us. And He created us to want that relationship with Him. That is the thing that we are craving - even if we don't know it. That is the hole we are trying to fill in our lives. That is what we are searching for when we can't seem to find what we are missing. Our hearts are longing for a relationship with Him. In this verse in Psalms, God is literally impressing it on our hearts to come and talk with Him. Come and visit with Him.
So this week, I am making a more conscious effort to say "LORD, I am on my way".
A little challenge for you: do you feel like you are missing something in your life? Do you feel like you are constantly chasing after something and never reaching it, or never being satisfied? Well... why don't you come and talk to Him about it? See what He says.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Leap of Faith
I know we've all heard that saying so many times. "You just have to have faith", "step out in faith", "keep the faith", "take a leap of faith". For me, so many of this cliche phrases lose their meaning from overuse. Sure, it's easy to know that I should have faith. It is far more involved to actually HAVE faith.
How do I know that I have faith? Or enough faith? Even the apostles struggled with this question. In Luke 17:5 they cried out "Increase our faith!" How do I have faith? I get to know Christ. I spend time in the Word, with the Word. I read and listen and ponder in my heart and trust and acknowledge the quiet presence of the Lord in my life.
Easier said than done. I know.
Trust me. I know.
We are in a season right now where we as a family need tremendous faith. Just in the past three weeks our lives seem to have taken a sharp left turn from the direction that we thought we were going. We've gone from DH working full time, and me working my DS business and being a SAHM full-time and added in: blogging, our Etsy shop (check us out Lone Star By Lee), a custom woodworking business, and DH having to walk away from his current position. We have prayed, cried, agonized over these decisions for the last several days, and although we are scared to death - we are stepping out in faith. We are claiming the promise of Christ in Matthew 21:21-22 “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”
This evening as I am writing this, I feel a bit like Noah. How crazy did he sound to his family and friends? I mean think about it, the man was building a MASSIVE boat becuase God told him that there was going to be water falling from the sky. So much water that it would cover the earth and kill every living thing not on that boat. Guys, it had NEVER. RAINED. BEFORE. The plants were watered by a mist that rose up from the ground. But water falling from the sky was unheard of. Tht would be like me telling you that tomorrow I can go out and eat the clouds for breakfast. That makes zero sense. And yet, there was Noah, for YEARS being faithful and and following God's directions. And now here I am. Moving forward with a plan that doesn't make much sense to myself or to those around, trusting completely that God has a plan for me (Jeremiah 29:11), and that God has set these events in motion as part of His plan. I just have to keep moving forward on the path He has already laid out.
So tonight, I will rest in the comfort and peace of Matthew 6:26 which says "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
If you do not have a Bible that you are in love with, or you are looking for another one (I counted... I have 7 Bibles on my bookshelf. Maybe this is my favorite thing to collect?) please consider this one - it is my favorite, and has side notes and annotations that have really spoken to me.
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